Dining Out

Toddlers do not belong in restaurants.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Someone could have a positively angelic toddler that is comfortable eating sushi and delighting wait staff with her use of chopsticks and perfect table manners. There are also family-friendly restaurants, like pizza joints and burger joints, which are almost defined by their loud atmospheres cleverly designed to mask your child's screams and demands for more french fries.

But let's face it: if an eating establishment uses cloth napkins, then your toddler doesn't belong there. No, not even if they provide a children's menu and booster seats. Nor do they want to go there.

Let's take a look at dining out from two perspectives: ours and theirs.

Adults: Dining out means enjoying a meal you don't have to cook - on dishes you don't have to clean - while enjoying the atmosphere and the company of your dining companions. Perhaps you select a restaurant based on its exceptional menu, or maybe you are just looking for a place to unwind. Most people don't eat out out of necessity; going out to eat is a treat, and something to be enjoyed for a number of reasons.

Child: Strapped into a carseat, a drive (that is always long, even if it's just across the street), maybe a short walk to the restaurant from the parking lot, strapped into a booster or highchair, not allowed to touch anything on the table, dinner takes longer to arrive, and it's probably a bit strange, fussed at for noise, fussed out for dropping things, and a meal that lasts 2-3x longer than any meal at home.

The poor kid is antsy, uncomfortable, and bored out of his or her mind. Tempers are quick to rise when there are other people involved, and just one loud child can ruin an evening for every guest. The toddler doesn't enjoy the meal, the primary caregiver does not enjoy the meal, the other guests will not enjoy the meal, and the wait staff won't be very happy, either. In the end, no one wins.

As a mother of an active and vocal toddler, I decided that it's probably best to limit our family outings to restaurants with cartoon mascots for the foreseeable future. Everyone will be happier for it.