Screamers and Shriekers: Things that make me want to hide under the bed

My kid is a screamer. He has the amazing ability to reach inhuman decibels, and everyday I find myself surprised that the windows in our house haven't shattered. The high-pitched shrieks seem finely-tuned to make me want to crawl out of my skin, and they are let loose at any (and all) moment.

We begin our day with screaming, usually over closed doors or diaper changes. You'd think we were chopping off toes as opposed to giving the Bear a new diaper. The shit-fits continue on and off for most of the morning, and it sometimes seems like the kid spends a good half of the day in time-outs.

These days my partner and I try to avoid taking the kid out in public because we never know when he'll lose it. It's humiliating and frustrating to be out in public with a poorly-behaved child, especially when that behavior affects others. This week I attempted to take both boys to the mall for the first time in forever, and I was very pleasantly surprised by their good behavior. The big one didn't throw a fit until we were checking out, and I was able to quickly whisk them away to the safety of the van. Our family trip to swim classes that same evening was another story, and we found ourselves giving time-outs in changing rooms for a good twenty minutes after a thirty minute class. Why? Because we took him out of his wet swimsuit, of course.

No form of discipline has worked so far. For a short while we tried spanking, but all that seemed to do was teach the kid to lash out when he was angry (which is even worse than screaming!). These days we use time-outs, but it does little to resolve the problem. Sure, it lets him know that we don't like his behavior and that there is a consequence for that behavior, but time-outs aren't enough of a threat to actually prevent the behavior.

I love to throw around theories about his screaming. My partner and I circle around the idea that it's connected to his expressive speech delay like salivating sharks ready to pounce on anything that wiggles. This morning I suggested that perhaps he's not getting enough sleep at night, because most of his fits take place in the morning, and I can occasionally hear him moving around late at night.

But who knows. Not me, that's for sure.

So what's the point of all this? Just the fact that I have a screamer, and the future looks loud and grim. If you have a screamer you're not alone. It looks like it's time to pull out the earplugs and brush up on the ASL.