Parenting Choices

I don't want to ditch the pacifier. And I hate pumping.

I'm struggling with both of these realizations right now. My partner and I have been discussing taking away first-born's pacifier since he was six-months old, and we thought 2 would be "it". Well, I started working right after the monster turned two, and I didn't want to stick an exhausted, cranky toddler into childcare. So I decided spring break would be the perfect time to work it out.

But now that spring break is coming up I'm second-guessing myself once again. He loves the darn thing so much, and he's actually fairly good about it. Once he was able to walk we limited the pacifier to bed-only, and to this day he's great about giving it up when he wakes up. We stick it up on his shelf when he's awake, and he only asks for it when he's ready to go to sleep. As soon as he gets up he takes it out of his mouth and hands it to us, and goes on his merry way.

When I'm honest with myself I realize that the pacifier doesn't bother me, and I see no good reason why I should rush him off of it. Seriously, what harm does it do? It makes him happy, it helps him sleep, and it never leaves his bedroom. I am perfectly comfortable packing him off to college with the darn thing.


My other issue is pumping. After the newborn rush I learned to enjoy breastfeeding again. I love cuddling up with my Squishy Love Child, and knowing the benefits of breastmilk makes it even more rewarding. I know that I'm doing the best that I can for my child, and giving him a good head start on things.

But dear god do I hate pumping. I've always been a bad pumper. I might get three to four ounces each time I pump, and Squish goes through 5-10 ounces every time I leave (I am gone twelve hours a week for work). I quickly ran through the stock I started right after he was born, and I'm down to three 5-oz. bags in the freezer, which will last through, well, Friday.

And pumping can make me dread actually feeding the Squish. I usually wait an hour after he eats to pump, and then an hour after that he's ready to eat again. He sleeps so well that he eats every two hours or so during the day, which means putting something to the boob every forty minutes. Not. Enjoyable.

So now I am considering supplementing with formula when I'm out of the house, and it makes me feel so guilty. I didn't want to introduce anything before six months, and he's just five months today. But in the long run I think it may be the best choice. Three to four formula bottles a week certainly won't hurt the little man, and his primary source of nutrition will still be breastmilk. It may help me reach my goal of one-year, too, because I enjoy it so much more when I don't have to pump. I nursed first-born for 9.5 months, and that's my mental-minimum, but I'd like to actually make it through that first year.

Parenting choices are hard, and they're full of uncertainty and second-guessing. In the end it's a matter of doing what's best for our family ... and hoping that it all works out for the best!

Dining Out

Toddlers do not belong in restaurants.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Someone could have a positively angelic toddler that is comfortable eating sushi and delighting wait staff with her use of chopsticks and perfect table manners. There are also family-friendly restaurants, like pizza joints and burger joints, which are almost defined by their loud atmospheres cleverly designed to mask your child's screams and demands for more french fries.

But let's face it: if an eating establishment uses cloth napkins, then your toddler doesn't belong there. No, not even if they provide a children's menu and booster seats. Nor do they want to go there.

Let's take a look at dining out from two perspectives: ours and theirs.

Adults: Dining out means enjoying a meal you don't have to cook - on dishes you don't have to clean - while enjoying the atmosphere and the company of your dining companions. Perhaps you select a restaurant based on its exceptional menu, or maybe you are just looking for a place to unwind. Most people don't eat out out of necessity; going out to eat is a treat, and something to be enjoyed for a number of reasons.

Child: Strapped into a carseat, a drive (that is always long, even if it's just across the street), maybe a short walk to the restaurant from the parking lot, strapped into a booster or highchair, not allowed to touch anything on the table, dinner takes longer to arrive, and it's probably a bit strange, fussed at for noise, fussed out for dropping things, and a meal that lasts 2-3x longer than any meal at home.

The poor kid is antsy, uncomfortable, and bored out of his or her mind. Tempers are quick to rise when there are other people involved, and just one loud child can ruin an evening for every guest. The toddler doesn't enjoy the meal, the primary caregiver does not enjoy the meal, the other guests will not enjoy the meal, and the wait staff won't be very happy, either. In the end, no one wins.

As a mother of an active and vocal toddler, I decided that it's probably best to limit our family outings to restaurants with cartoon mascots for the foreseeable future. Everyone will be happier for it.